I have a wise friend. I am blessed.

She has reminded me of the days years ago, when the children were wee-little and I exhausted beyond anything I've ever known before or since. Those days when being empty was the norm and yet I had to reach deeper. And I could not. I cried out to God hourly and more, for strength to carry on. When all I wanted to do was flop and not move and yet I so wanted to be available to those dear little eyes staring up at me, expecting me to be a mother.

I complained of this one day to a friend, how I was so weak I had to keep coming back to God again, and again. Over and over with hardly a break. Just like my children to me. My children didn't see it as a weakness to come back to me. They knew the source of their help and didn't hesitate to ask. Every time. And yet I hesitated to ask the source of my help. But I did because I was desperate. My friend looked at me oddly, suggested I was doing what He expected and desired of me. And I was floored.

How could I not have already learned this?

She was right. And I learned that God was pleased with me. It brought me rest and confidence.

Sometimes I need an object lesson! And sometimes I need that reminder, again, because I forget so easily that God is my sufficiency and is pleased with me.

Thank you, dear, wise friend.

I missed February

no posts in February

It's tempting to set the date on this to February just so there's a post. But I won't. I will say that I've been concentrating on writing in my journal more. And writing letters by hand sent with a real stamp. I love the feel of a pen in my hand, the ink flowing smoothly out. I dislike the feel of a blotchy or scratchy pen. I love seeing words form on paper and how a change in the paper or pen can make a difference in how I write. I love the sense of clarity that comes to my thoughts as I write them and read, often realising my opinion is clear when I thought it confused, or that my arguments or reasons sound just plain silly when they're said "out loud."

Which is the explanation of why I didn't blog in February.

A walk on the Green Trail

With four adults, twelve children between the ages of five and fifteen and one dog, we didn't really expect to see any birds or wildlife on our hike. And it's a good thing we had prepared ourselves. Some of us did see one bird, but that was the extent of any living thing besides us and one cross country skier who had to wait for us all to traipse by so he could carry on down the trail.

Fresh snow in our unusually mild winter was a delight and the cold temperature made us feel it was really winter. Snowballs flew and faces sparkled with cheeks becoming redder as we went along. The bigger kids often had to wait at intersecting trails so the adults who knew the way could direct them but they didn't seem to mind.

We got to see a few animal tracks: dog, rabbit and deer at least. The trees were mostly bare but some oak leaves hung on and one plant had bright red berries. I think it was a red barberry. Mostly it was just fun to be outside in the snow all together. We're a group of women and kids who are learning about nature and books don't always give us what we need to know. Trees devoid of leaves look and sound different. The air in winter sounds and smells like winter air. Red berries show up bright against white snow and I'm sure if there had been leaves on the bush with the red and yellow branches we'd not have seen the colours. (I assume the yellow was last summer's new growth.) Lots we saw we had no answers for, but then, that's part of the adventure. We may come across those answers in unexpected places now that we've identified the questions.

I highly recommend a winter hike, especially if it's cold and snowy. You'll be glad you went.

books (surprise!)

The children have discovered ibooks on their ipod.... They have downloaded the entire collection of Lang's Fairy Tales except the Blue one which we own in print. They're exploring Henty's books and are disappointed to find that many authors cost money!

I anticipate quiet days ahead with the occasional "my turn!" squabble.

Peg people

A new obsession has taken over our home. Peg people from Lee Valley. So far we have made Little Red Riding Hood, the wolf, Granny and the Woodcutter; Octavius, Santa and Joseph in his Technicolour Dreamcoat. We have just received the rest of the backorder. Before painting (or Sharpie-ing), the regiments led by Octavius and Santa have been mowed down by DaVinci's catapult. Things might change once they are painted. But hopefully not.

(I guess the morning's breakfast may have helped.)

on the eve of a new year

Our house is happily peaceful. The children are playing a game, Pieman is searching MLS listings for a new home for his parents, I'm puttering getting ready for our friends to arrive tomorrow afternoon. The Christmas lights are on and there is a fire in the woodstove.

These past couple weeks have been good for us. Christmas, of course, came in the middle of that and we were able to be with family, which was good. We finished school a week before that; I don't think we could have gone on much longer without a break. It's been a stressful few months. Those first few days off we mostly slept and read and ate healthy food. Slowly, I began to have ideas and played with them. Ideas like a new recipe or some decorating. I finished up the gifts I had planned. And then I napped and read a book.

The children were meanwhile showing similar habits. I have been deeply contented to hear their comments of "hey, let's (do, go, try, play)...." It feels like a long time has passed since I've heard that. It has made me sad.

Although Pieman has had to work much of the time we've been larking, he has told me that he feels good and is looking forward to Monday's day off to rest some more. Mind you, his idea of resting often includes running or cycling or some other feat of sweat. To each his own.

All this to say to you,

Happy new year! May this year be full of riches, blessings and good things. May you learn from the hard and be grateful for it all.

"After all," Anne had said to Marilla once, "I believe the nicest and sweetest days are not those on which anything very splendid or wonderful or exciting happens, but those that bring simple little pleasures, following one another softly, like pearls slipping off a string."

a conversation I overheard behind me

BTG to CTM: Have you ever just stared at the fan blades going round and round?

K2 interjects: Yeah. It's entertaining for about 30 seconds and then gets boring.