while it is still called today

Today is a gift.

I see it written on the wing of a Monarch butterfly; wrapped in a cigar roll leaf that holds a caterpillar cocoon; tucked into the pods of a touch-me-not and spotted along the back of the leopard frogs in the muddy pools.

Today is a gift.

I walk, I rejoice, I glory in the hot sun of a late September day after a cooler than usual summer.

Today I could shout it from the rooftops or dance it out in a newly mown field.

In the back of my mind is tomorrow.

One of these tomorrows will bring snow and icy blasts that make me fight with the door to open it. The drafts running down my back will remind me that my schoolhouse was built before insulation. My electric blanket and fleece pajamas will run overtime and hot drinks keep the kettle bubbling.

However,

Tomorrow will become today and through gritted, chattering teeth I will remind myself that today is a gift. It's harder to believe but I have chosen to insist on believing it. When that last shoe drops and getting out of bed seems pointless, my song becomes a prayer: "Oh Lord, my God, when I in awesome wonder, consider all the works thy hands have made...."

Each and every day is a gift.

No Daffodils Yet

It's winter today all over again as temperatures dropped yesterday and the rain turned into snow. Lots of snow and still snowing lightly. Unlike in December, my family is not overjoyed but we also know this is short lived.

With Good Friday and Easter Sunday approaching, I have a sense of anticipation that seems to go hand in hand with this year's longing for Spring. I am waiting differently than in previous years: patiently, daily, and somewhat cynically. Cynical of the impatience of others. It's unfair of me and I know it. I do not doubt that Spring will come as I know that Christ has risen, he has risen indeed. Others know this too and have not lost the excitement in that knowledge. My very bones wait for warmth and sun. It seems deeper than excitement.



*While you wait with me, perhaps you'd like to try out one of my Easter traditions? Paska is a sweet bread that harks back to Eastern Europe and my own Mennonite tradition. Here's a recipe similar to mine.

So when I read through my drafts that have never been finished or posted, they are full of thoughts I've been thinking, ideas I'm processing, questions I'm asking. Mostly questions. And you, dear people, never get to hear those questions. Perhaps they are your questions too. Perhaps they are just mine and I don't want to expose my folly. This is why I do not publish. So much for really believing that there are no stupid questions, that the process and effort is growth.

Two of my favourite sounds:

-someone giggling or laughing out loud over the book they're engrossed in

-the sound of shears cutting fabric laid out on a table or the floor

A borrowed post

There are lines in writing that resonate. Sometimes it can be the whole tone of a book or blog or website. Sometimes a sentiment behind a word or two. I have spent months on one verse in the Bible, coming back to it again and again, fully intending to get on to verse 4 but never getting past verse 3. "Grace and peace to you from our Lord Jesus Christ." So good.

A while back I stumbled across Tonia's blog. I've never met her. Emailed once. Who is this woman? Remarkable for sure. In any case I read this blog post today. Look for the phrase about not knowing how to answer the questions that seek to measure. Then look for the act of defiance. If only I'd thought to think that in the days before I became aware of my own confidence in this need to be at rest.

And then explore her blog. There are many places to settle for a while.

My garden dreams

The first of the tomato seedlings are up! They were planted March 15. I just finished planting the last of the others to be started indoors so we'll see what comes up next.

A non comprehensive list of my garden plans:

tomatoes--a few varieties (Ok, 7. I'll be making salsa and sauce. The cherry kinds are for snacking during the summer.)
peppers--hot, sweet and paprika (who knew you could grow paprika?)
winter squash--red kuri, delicata, butternut
pumpkins--pie and giant
melons--watermelon and muskmelon
cucumbers--English type and for pickling
onions--red and yellow
gourds--ornamental, birdhouse and luffa (which has never worked for me but I still have seeds so will give it another try)
celeriac (also called celery root)
brussel sprouts
and a variety of flowers including Maltese Cross, purple millet, nicotiana, feverfew
summer savoury

To be planted outside when the snow melts and the ground warms up:

peas--shell and snap
lettuce--a variety of kinds
more flowers, including cosmos, zinnias, scarlet flax, chrysanthemum, calendula, sunflowers, runner beans
dry beans--goose gullet, blue jay, cranberry
carrots--our soil is too compact for these so we're trying the little round Parisienne ones
cauliflower
potatoes
kohlrabi if there's room but I got tired of those last year

I think I'm forgetting some things.
Ask me how I like my garden during weeding and harvest time!

Happy Birthday, Dan!

For days now...three...I have wished my brother in law a happy 50th birthday.

Problem is, he hasn't known about it. Poor guy.

Our schedules are a tad different. So I'm writing it here and I will send him this link.

Happy birthday, Danny!

I hope it was a gloriously, beautiful and fun day, fully alive to the love that surrounds you.

Hopefully we'll get to see you sometime soon.

I couldn't find a picture of a cake, so I found one of a conga line!