I have a wise friend. I am blessed.

She has reminded me of the days years ago, when the children were wee-little and I exhausted beyond anything I've ever known before or since. Those days when being empty was the norm and yet I had to reach deeper. And I could not. I cried out to God hourly and more, for strength to carry on. When all I wanted to do was flop and not move and yet I so wanted to be available to those dear little eyes staring up at me, expecting me to be a mother.

I complained of this one day to a friend, how I was so weak I had to keep coming back to God again, and again. Over and over with hardly a break. Just like my children to me. My children didn't see it as a weakness to come back to me. They knew the source of their help and didn't hesitate to ask. Every time. And yet I hesitated to ask the source of my help. But I did because I was desperate. My friend looked at me oddly, suggested I was doing what He expected and desired of me. And I was floored.

How could I not have already learned this?

She was right. And I learned that God was pleased with me. It brought me rest and confidence.

Sometimes I need an object lesson! And sometimes I need that reminder, again, because I forget so easily that God is my sufficiency and is pleased with me.

Thank you, dear, wise friend.

I missed February

no posts in February

It's tempting to set the date on this to February just so there's a post. But I won't. I will say that I've been concentrating on writing in my journal more. And writing letters by hand sent with a real stamp. I love the feel of a pen in my hand, the ink flowing smoothly out. I dislike the feel of a blotchy or scratchy pen. I love seeing words form on paper and how a change in the paper or pen can make a difference in how I write. I love the sense of clarity that comes to my thoughts as I write them and read, often realising my opinion is clear when I thought it confused, or that my arguments or reasons sound just plain silly when they're said "out loud."

Which is the explanation of why I didn't blog in February.