on the eve of a new year

Our house is happily peaceful. The children are playing a game, Pieman is searching MLS listings for a new home for his parents, I'm puttering getting ready for our friends to arrive tomorrow afternoon. The Christmas lights are on and there is a fire in the woodstove.

These past couple weeks have been good for us. Christmas, of course, came in the middle of that and we were able to be with family, which was good. We finished school a week before that; I don't think we could have gone on much longer without a break. It's been a stressful few months. Those first few days off we mostly slept and read and ate healthy food. Slowly, I began to have ideas and played with them. Ideas like a new recipe or some decorating. I finished up the gifts I had planned. And then I napped and read a book.

The children were meanwhile showing similar habits. I have been deeply contented to hear their comments of "hey, let's (do, go, try, play)...." It feels like a long time has passed since I've heard that. It has made me sad.

Although Pieman has had to work much of the time we've been larking, he has told me that he feels good and is looking forward to Monday's day off to rest some more. Mind you, his idea of resting often includes running or cycling or some other feat of sweat. To each his own.

All this to say to you,

Happy new year! May this year be full of riches, blessings and good things. May you learn from the hard and be grateful for it all.

"After all," Anne had said to Marilla once, "I believe the nicest and sweetest days are not those on which anything very splendid or wonderful or exciting happens, but those that bring simple little pleasures, following one another softly, like pearls slipping off a string."

a conversation I overheard behind me

BTG to CTM: Have you ever just stared at the fan blades going round and round?

K2 interjects: Yeah. It's entertaining for about 30 seconds and then gets boring.

eleven years

Happy birthday to my baby, K2.

No longer a baby, oh no.

He's a whole 11 years old today and growing beautifully.

I can't wait to see what the next 11 years will hold.

lizards and cousins

Mom, you must be distantly related to a lizard because you're cold-blooded and find the warm spots to sit like Liam's lizard sits on his mom's head.

Hey! that means K2 and I are distantly related to lizards since we sit on each other's heads sometimes!

my one big idea

Recently I was asked for my one big idea for this year's schooling. What was the one thing among all the other plans that I had determined would be done no matter what, or that solved that one problem to make life run smoother? The speaker had chosen a new kind of diary for a record of certain day-to-day decisions and plans. The other mom in our trio gave her idea but my mind was roving through the corners of the empty room to find something, anything to give as answer. Nothing but dust bunnies came to my rescue. I parried and changed the topic.

Of course, since I'm talking of it now when the conversation happened weeks ago you may be sure that it's bothered me. And to be frank, the question in a different format had been asked by me, of myself many times since late winter/spring. What really are my ideas? Yes, school fills my thoughts. The plans, hopes, desires and work towards those goals. But apart from school: who am I? Do I have any real thoughts of my own? Where are my interests? Do the reasons I give for not pursuing interests hold water? Or am I just thoughtless and uninterested in life? I can hear someone telling me not to be silly and giving me examples. Or maybe someone else has similar thoughts. But I'm good at covering up what goes on inside.

There. You've caught me at a quiet, open moment. I won't go on to reveal more of those inside thoughts right now. Instead I will parry and change the topic.

I just received a book I'd ordered called a Grain of Sand by Dr. Gary Greenberg. It is beautiful. The photographs of each grain of sand are incredible. I pored over the book Saturday morning with my children and my niece and nephew. It was a beautiful time not only of reading of the wonders of sand but also of sharing the wonder with these precious children. And I get to brag because my 10 year old immediately identified three of the grains as coming from a sponge, lime and coral. I wanted to know how he knew that and he replied that it was from reading Life and Her Children by Arabella Buckley, last year's school book.

*Sigh of happiness*

And speaking of books, I have a whole new stack for this year, including my very own copy of the Complete Poetical Works of Wordsworth. I'm sure the other library patrons will be happy to hear that.

I sense in part my life is in a transition from a mother of children to a mother of growing thinkers. Perhaps this has left a void that I want to fill meaningfully instead of just with the junk that hovers at the edge wanting to be sucked in in order to exclude the meaning. The question of who I will be when I grow up has perhaps a different twist. Who will I have been when I look back?

la

Are we ready?

After a day that has followed a week that has followed months of planning for school this fall (ok, I admit it, it seems in fact to be what I do all year round), I find myself unsure of whether I've actually accomplished anything. I can look at the specifics of what I did and feel happy that certain things are taken care of. For our first term I've chosen 4 of 6 Wordsworth poems, I've chosen our Plutarch life and printed it off all ready with the term 2 life chosen but not printed, I've gone through my sister's booklist and found the books I already own so she can borrow them, I've located in my shelves a science book we'll use this year. That's not bad really. And although I had thought to give you the list of things yet to accomplish I think I won't. I'll instead enjoy the feeling of satisfaction from the things completed.

But back to the idea that this is what I do all the time, this planning. I think some of what I describe as planning I should just rename research or teacher development or maybe even just for fun. Because this idea that I must always be planning drags me down since it means I'm never ready for whatever is upcoming. And most of it is fun. Especially those "planning days" that are combined with my friends as an excuse to read each other's books, pick each other's brains and share coffee and chocolate together. And then finish it all off with dinner out. I almost feel guilty for enjoying my work so much even if I don't get paid.

My final thoughts:

The Labourer's Noon-Day Hymn by Wordsworth 1834-1835

Up to the throne of God is borne

The voice of praise at early morn,

And he accepts the punctual hymn

Sung as the light of day grows dim:

Nor will he turn his ear aside

From holy offerings at noontide:

Then here reposing let us raise

A song of gratitude and praise.

What though our burthen be not light,

We need not toil from morn to night;

The respite of the mid-day hour

Is in the thankful Creature's power.

Blest are the moments, doubly blest,

That, drawn from this one hour of rest,

Are with a ready heart bestowed

Upon the service of our God!

Each field is then a hallowed spot,

An altar is in each man's cot,

A church in every grove that spreads

Its living roof above our heads.

Look up to Heaven! the industrious Sun

Already half his race hath run;

He cannot halt nor go astray,

But our immortal Spirits may.

Lord! since his rising in the East,

If we have faltered or transgressed,

Guide, from thy love's abundant source,

What yet remains of this day's course:

Help with thy grace, through life's short day,

Our upward and our downward way;

And glorify for us the west,

When we shall sink to final rest.

la

I hold on because I have to

God knows I can't really do this teaching stuff. I don't have enough knowledge to lead my children to great heights of learning, to the depths of wisdom. In talking with my friend, Sandy, this evening I likened the feeling to the desperation of being at sea without a boat. I can't touch bottom, I can't even see the sides. But because I have seen God's work in my life I can trust him to hold me up even as I see him pulling me deeper out. My reaction is to grab for the scrap of wood or broken raft floating by so that I don't sink. But I will sink eventually with those choices. I desperately do not want to be out of the water on a broken raft when God wants me in the water trusting him. I need to watch him, keep my eyes on him, hang on to his rope. It will never break.

Two people today have told me this is good to hear. One was Sandy. One was me. Sometimes I just need to put my thoughts and feelings into words. Thanks Sandy for helping me do that.

It works

The 7th Annual Charlotte Mason Educational Conference was of course wonderful. It always is a time to be inspired (and often overwhelmed) by such a large group of people who do their best to put into practice the wisdom of Charlotte Mason in their homes and schools.

This year the sessions started out with a day of "immersion" in a school setting. I chose the multi-age homeschool session with Nancy and was thrilled with it. One of the best parts was the realization that we already do very much what Nancy showed us.

Now that's encouraging!

After all these years of reading, studying, trying to let go of my learned ways of education to fit in with what I sensed to be a whole view of education I have confirmation that this way works. And this "confirmation" is not in truth unexpected. I have been thrilled during these years lately to see my children blossom and thrive. They exhibit few of the "I hate school" symptoms that some of my friends describe. They are interested in life and in the simple thrills of the world around them. They relate well to those in their spheres of influence. They are thinking, relational, growing creatures and--this is the best part--they love to share it with Pieman and me. They take us along for the ride. They open our eyes to wonder and together we laugh in delight.

Watercolour painting by my mother-in-law of a photograph taken by Pieman of English seaside beach huts. She too is learning a new joy in her life. It never needs to stop.

Charlotte Mason was a real person

I'm looking forward to a wonderful education conference in just a few weeks on Charlotte Mason and her way of seeing life. I love how the atmosphere of the conference makes it a vibrant learning time for anyone involved in education, whether homeschoolers, teachers, or parents. The more I read in Charlotte's 'pink books'* of her thoughts and ways, the more I see that she lived in real life and understood how things work and yet was able to also see the ideal way to bring out the best in life. There may be a 100-year gap from her time to mine but the truths are timeless.

As the Childlight USA conference planners at Gardner Webb University gear up for the 7th annual Charlotte Mason Education Conference in North Carolina the blog has been rich with thoughts on Charlotte Mason and the way she has impacted the authors' educational philosophies and their lives. I just thought you might be interested in reading some of the blog entries.

*Pink covers on the reprinted 6-volume set of Charlotte Mason's writings. The original look so much nicer but they are of course more difficult to find. I've only seen one copy on someone else's bookshelf (I tried not to drool on it.) Most people read the pink ones or the free online version and I believe there may be some newer-covered versions and there's even a Kindle version.

Food, Family and Flowers

Well, if you want to see the posts I just posted....they're over here. I managed to be on our other blog instead of the regular one. And the other blog is sadly neglected so I guess it's not a bad thing to have posted over there. They (2 posts) even have photos.

What I didn't write over there is that I've managed to dodge rain drops and get half of the tomatoes planted out in the back garden. Of the 57 plants I grew from seed, I've given a dozen or so away, killed two and have plans to give a few more. The front garden is host to a beautiful crop of healthy dandelions and a few onions that got missed last year. If it stays dry for more than a day Pieman might even be able to get it tilled so that I can plant out the giant pumpkins the kids are growing. Wait. So the kids can plant out the giant pumpkins they are growing. I have a few flowers to scatter about too and more vegetables...squash, peppers, cauliflower, onions, carrots, and more lettuce and peas on a staggered schedule. My neighbour just assured me that this is a more typical weather year for around here than last year's beautifully gorgeously warm and sunny spring and summer. I'm not happy about that. But let me tell you...only 3 weeks until we reach North Carolina and please, let it be hot!

update

Preserved lemons are yummy.

I've added them to rice dishes, to stew, to salads. I've mixed them in with the reheated combination-of-leftovers-concoction-to-clear-out-the-fridge. They helped immensely.

I have transferred them from their pretty mason jars to a plastic container in the fridge since I think the lemon juice acid might rust the jar

lid. And since they keep months or more in the fridge I'm sure to get through them before they go bad. Seriously, there is a lot of lemon juice in that jar. I am so glad I tried these.

In other news...we have snow. I grew up in New Brunswick and the final blast of winter always came in the form of a "St. Patrick's Day snowstorm." Well, this year, we've had Saints Patrick, Brendan, George, Fred, Mary...(ok, I'm making up the names now but do you hear my frustration?) Enough said on that.

All this crazy weather sure makes us wish we were back in Costa Rica....

I don't know what kind of flower this is but it's startling.

Some food shots

Happy Birthday CTM! This was his choice of cake and it disappeared fast.

The hot dog won for looks...

...and the black car came in 2nd for speed.

preserved lemons

Don't they look pretty?

I'll have to wait a month or more until they're ready. I've never used preserved lemons but have heard rave reviews. Since I had all the ingredients except the lemons and those happened to be on sale this week...well, it had to happen today.

birthdays that mark time

Seriously! She's fourteen? I know it's cliché to wonder where that time has gone but it has zipped by so fast. I tried to heed those warnings from older moms. I tried to stop and enjoy them as babies, toddlers, little ones. I wanted to savour it all. But there were diapers to change, bellies to fill, tears to wipe and all the rest too. I have enjoyed these "golden years" as my three kidlets have been independent from me and yet not too much yet. They no longer need their noses wiping but sometimes still the tears. And now she's fourteen. I'm not ready to take the gold out of the days. Rather I'll buff it up nice and shiny. I watch her grow, see those thoughts starting to sound so adult-like. I see her learning to navigate the world with integrity. And I'm proud of her. So proud.